Game Releases of 2012

I'm never drinking again.

Right, from any year, we're always going to get a sexy amount of games. There's nothing inherently special about this year.

That's a complete lie, Mass Effect 3, new Naruto Ninja Storm game and something else I can't quite remember will be my highlight, I will throw myself into the lines at numerous game stores and defecate in my pants just to get hold of these juicy video games.

While that's a bit extreme, I'll go into why I want Mass Effect 3 and the Naruto game.

Mass Effect 3 has had 2 previous instalments, we all know this, all our Shepards have numerous endings and never really stay the same but the juicy thing about number 3 is that it's the end of the story. That's it. Our characters finally get an ending.A fucking ending. Look at this shit. Look at all this swearing, I didn't put stars, I swore, that's how serious I am, goodbye younger viewers who have parental blocks, hello people who like to say "fuck" a lot.

Kinect support only adds to the strategy based aspect of i- bollocks, it gives us enough reason to shout profanities at the TV screen, I'm looking forward to shouting "THANE, START ACTING MORE LIKE YOU DID IN YOUR LOYALTY MISSION AND LESS LIKE A GENERIC CHARACTER". I should probably rename the disc to "SHEPARD FUCKS EVERYTHING" because, from what I've heard, you can be gay. Bout time, finally, every straight man who plays this game will eventually get curious or youtube the events or even more so that there's now nudity involved with the character so we've got gay nude scenes, suddenly, everybody who plays it becomes bi-curious and the gays finally rejoice with the huge market in pudy-tang to no go bag and tag with their flamboyant man-junk the size of a radio tower.

Now, the new Naruto game is purely for the fans. It's delicious and beautiful, it's called "Generations" and every character that's ever been in the series is here. You can have a young Naruto beating the shit out of the Raikage if you know how to play and I'm jizzing with anticipation over it. It's beautiful. Did I say beautiful? Yeah, I did but you can't blame me really, I am a fan of Naruto and this game is like Meth on a stick for me, I need it to come out right now and I mean, right now.

This was the previous game,
which was also juicy.

Alright, we know that Anime orientated games are for the fans, fans will buy it and there's a lot of fans for these kind of games, I bought Ultimate Tenkaichi at full retail price for £44.99 and I aint ashamed, it's an alright game, I don't even have any regrets but if the new Generations game is full retail price, I'm stealing it. Stealing it because I'm sad and desperate for this game, I will cave, like I said before, it's like meth on a stick, I don't know where the stick comes into it but it's a delicious stick and I will destroy it whilst it destroys me.

Right, that's all I've really got to say, I recovered from the hang-over, brimming with some creativity and now I need to continue with brainstorming for an online business idea.

Ciao Squeers.

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• Shepard Handles Conflicts with Words and Guns in 'Mass Effect 3′ Screens (gamerant.com)
• Naruto Shippuden: Ultimate Ninja Storm Generations Gets Box Art, Dated (multiplayerblog.mtv.com)
• Mass Effect 3 (tobolds.blogspot.com)
• New Naruto Shippuden: Ultimate Ninja Storm Generations screens and artworks (examiner.com)