Tecognise: Fujifilm 16mp Digital Camera for £54.99

I bought the black one.
Because I'm racist.

I remember seeing this on ebay whilst I was lovingly floating around and blowing my expendable money (all of it) on items I probably don't need. On the front page, however, I did find this camera. It looks basic but holy Jesus, they dropped it from £179.99 to £54.99, you'd be stupid to not buy this. Plus, it's a legal brand so how can you not get your monies worth for this??

BUY IT. The camera are in 4 different colours and they're at the bottom of the page.

http://www.ebay.co.uk/sch/Digital-Cameras-/31388/i.html?_catref=1&_ipg=&_ssn=blue-thirteen&_trksid=p3911.c0.m1538

Top 10 360 games according to me! (Continued)

6. Fallout: New Vegas


The Fallout series is truly delicious. It's based on exploring an entire map with guns, swords, rocks, parts of animals, being in pants and nothing else if need be, it truly is quite the trip. Fallout is always the deliverer of quick wit, story choices, weapon discovery and the V.A.T.S system which is unique in itself. It's quite in depth when I think about it, armour usually needs reparing along with weapons, you can craft items into better stuff, build and buy attachments, hell, you can kill vendors and take all their items if you don't have the money for it but it depends on how you are as a person really.

My own experiences are always leaned towards the power of good! But when I get bored, I might go on a little massacre or kill a vender and pilfer his s*** then sell it all on for a profit, I'm just that kinda guy. It's a good thing I don't get bored easily otherwise I'd have probably killed my family by now.

But that's just between you and me.

All in all, you'll like New Vegas. It's dynamic and the replayability is brilliant. I might pop it in now actually but then I have to do two more of this list so I am quite a sad panda.

5. Bulletstorm


Now hold on, chaps, let me get this straight. The story was too short and the level design was something to be desired but that's all.

NOW ONTO THE GOOD STUFF!

Bulletstorm has a LOT of charm. The writing and script are genius, you can play just to hear them speak. Your main character is a complete smart ass and every wise crack he makes made me chuckle a little. The gameplay's not that bad either. The idea is the more creative you are, the more points you get. I kinda think you're limited by each stage on how creative you can get but it still works. The more you overuse one method though, you earn less points so its always good to mix it up a little. Plus, you need these points to refill ammo and upgrade and other stuff, it's a system that works.

You'll have fun with Bulletstorm, no doubt. I'll put my life on the line. Only joking, I can't allow you to be that much of a c***.

4. Assassins Creed Brotherhood


The Creed series is pretty popular. It's about assassins fighting templars using machines to go into the past using a certain person DNA structure because apparently, you can relive a persons ancestors memories blah blah blah MORE IMPORTANT STUFF RELEVANT TO THIS POST

You're an assassin. +1. You're Italian. +19323498273498724 DO YOU KNOW HOW SEXY ITALIANS ARE, THEY CHALLENGE MY SEXUALITY

Back on topic, in this game, you can control other assassins and make your own guild, send them on missions and they f*** up shit for other people because you've told them too. And when you're bored, you can buy the god damn Colosseum whilst you're bored.

I could write more but what needs more pointing out then being Italian, an assassin and buying the Colosseum?  

LAST 3 PICS IN THE NEXT POST, CHAPS.

Top 10 Xbox 360 games according to me!

It had to happen. I mean, come on, from the last 14 blog posts, all I did talk about was how the industry was effected WELL **** YOU, THIS IS ABOUT ME FOR A CHANGE so here is my list of 360 games in which I luuuurrrvvveeee.

10. Way of the Samurai 3

I think I mentioned in the last blog post that I LOVE unheard gaming gems and this could be one of them. You're a samurai and you can do whatever the **** you want. You don't have to follow the storyline and even when you do follow it, there's about 26 endings you can get. Not to mention that you can build your own weapons and name them something like "The Penetrator" and make your character attack with a forward thrust with a blunt edge until they just commit to you and fall to the floor, it's delicious.

There isn't a lot to explore but it doesn't matter in this game as there's so much to discover and find out that it makes up for this shortcoming for pure exploration. For instance, a guy will turn up in the morning that you can recruit and he'll fight beside you on the 4th day but any other time or day, you'll miss him and he'll never turn up again. It's things like these that make you want to find everything out about the game  that will keep you coming back for more. I know I'm not tired of it and I've played the hell out of it, mainly due to how attached I am to the penetrator but that's my reason.

9. Mass Effect 2

Yes, this isn't a gem but it's still delicious. The Mass Effect series is known for its re-playability and the fact that your story continues from the previous games and as I have yet to play and cream over Mass Effect 3 which isn't out yet, 2 will have to do. Ha, ryhmed.

The combat system is quite desirable but it works well. It's a third person shooter but it works, it's unique in ever way. It's fun to play but the selling point would have to be the story. I doubt you'l ever have the same playthrough so the re-playability is excellent. I just love this game as I can't seem to trade it in. I can't. I know number 3's coming out so I can't get rid of it. I'll buy Mass Effect 1 when I get the chance, even though I've had many chances so SHUT UP ALRIGHT.

ahem.

So yeah, Mass Effect is a game of its own and I would recommend it. From what I hear, the third one should have this slogan. SHEPARD F**** EVERYTHING.

8. Dead Rising 2

Now I love this game. I love the single player, I love the multiplayer but for some reason, I always leave it for ages and never play it. I don't know why, this game is amazing but I think it's because the game puts me under stress. You have to do things before the timer runs out which is fine but I like going off and doing side quests and I can't when the main storyline has a timer to get there for it.

But this is about why I love it.

Zombies, +1. Customisable weapons. +1. Psycopaths. +1. You earn yourself money by playing online. +10000000000000000000.

F****** GENIUS. I love games who incorporate multipayer with single player ad I do love single player games and when I earn my way on a single player by unlocking everything, I don't like starting out AGAIN on the multiplayer so I like this. It's the opposite, the money you win on the multiplayer, your single player gets but it still makes me ROCK HARD. I need to play this but duty calls.

7. Dynasty Warriors 7

Ha, just noticed that the 7th choice is the 7th game of the series.. I'm way too amused at the smallest things.

Speaking of being amused by the smallest things, I'm a dedicated Dynasty Warriors fan. I've owned every single game in the franchise. I love Hack n' Slash games. I really do. Dynasty Warriors 2 was the first PS2 game I touched and I remember bugging my dad to buy me it. I was blown away, launched into a world full of troops I could mow down.

5 sequels later and I have Dynasty Warriors 7. What is has is something the 6th instalment didn't. An improved Dynasty Warriors 5 fighting system. People who have played the games, like me, will understand what I'm saying. It's just better, they made quite the sequel, plus they added an extra faction which the other games didn't have. In this one, you can choose your favourite character and give them whatever weapon you want. Some are better with others and some aren't. However, a specific weapon is needed to perform a special move called an EX move so it's always best to keep your main weapon in your hands as you can switch between two weapons freely.

Story is always the same yet they added a lot more stuff. I'm forever waiting for the Empires side games as I love commanding everything. I'll probably be the only one camping outside my local Game just so I can get the first copy.

Yes, I'm that dedicated. **** you.

I'll continue this list in the next blog post.

Ciao, Squeers.

Hidden Gaming Gems?

Right, I'll confess. I'm a gaming hipster. I don't do it on purpose but I LOVE games that nobodies heard about. Whenever I see a game that I've never heard about in a game store or online, I'll take the time to read what it's about and even if it looks ****, I'll probably still buy it. 

More like "Mindlack" AM I RIGHT?!
...

For instance, I bought "Mindjack" which had quite a nice concept but due to the lack of onine players, what the concept bases around but not reliant on, it wasn't as fun as it could have been so I traded that mo-fo in when I wanted to get a game I can't remember trading in for. Irony can suck my back passage.

Meh.

I consider JRPG's in the UK to be gems. I love them. I can't help it, I'm a sucker for a good JRPG and I don't think they're that popular in the West, apart from Final Fantasy but they're the kings, everyone knows about them and they aint no gems of mine! 

Actually, I'm a sucker for anything Japanese that's over there so I can live with this. 

As a side note, I'm going to transfer this blog onto a self-hosted Wordpress domain. Because I'm that professional, obviously.

Ciao, Squeers. 

Pretty much every JRPG you'll play

"Squares n' s***" "Cool story, bro'" Minecraft

Everybody who's come across Minecraft will eventually get addicted to it. There isn't a chance you wont, when you start off, it's intimidating with all these formulas and having to mould stuff, combine stuff and "WHY CAN'T I FIND WHAT I NEED" syndrome, I remember my first experience of not being able to find iron and instead of coal, I just burnt wood instead because I used science and science usually does work in Minecraft, I can't suit up with a gold sword and full armour without getting my arse handed to me since gold is basically f****** useless in the game.

But Minecraft is the production of an indie company called .. I've forgotten, hold on ..

*Cough*

So yeah, Mojang. Guy called Notch, well his nickname, made this game with a few more people and it was a hit. It was a unique idea. You create your world by uisng squares, you mine recourses like dirt and stone, you build shelter away from enemies who really want to destroy your anus (don't get me started about spiders), you get bombed by creepers, who happen to be the scariest f****** game enemy you will ever see when you start Minecraft, and building your own tools. You place blocks, you can have an idea in mind and yo do it. You realise it wont happen over night so you either stop the project or keep going. Once you've completed your project, my GOD DOES IT FEEL GOOD because it's a game that makes you work for your damn goals.

SSSSSSSSSSSSSsssssssssssssSSSSSSSSSSSsssssssSSSSSSSSS

Now other mainstream companies, THIS IS HOW YOU MAKE A GAME.

You give the people COMPLETE control. You make it so they can get rid of what they want, work for what they want and LOVE what you want. But it's too late, other companies. You can't do this concept without either copying it or making it overly complicated. You can't. Minecraft is the revolution that'll stay in control due to its ever growing fan base and modding community. 

They beat you too it and you're sick with envy. They made such an obvious idea real. And we love them for it. Mojang is brilliant and nobody can say a bad word about it. Even Notch makes me want to cuddle the **** out of him.

Cuao, Squeers.

I hope you lol as much as I did.

"I am a robot" "MOTHER OF GOD, SPARE MY CHILDREN" (AI)

The ears a gear.
Heh.
Gear.

AI. It scares the living **** out of me. Because I'm not an idiot. Intelligence is intelligence. You make intelligence, it's going to act out on its own eventually. It's right round the corner as well. How exciting.

Off course, AI already exists in the games we play. I wouldn't called it advanced AI, I'd rather compare it to the severed head of a dog which can still react to what's going on but just be a head. Not alive, just natural impulses to certain actions that we perform on them. You see an enemy dodge your bullets, it's script, nothing more.

BUT

If enough script was pumped straight into a characters code, or DNA, then it'd react to everything. Take some code out, modify it, put it back in, you have a unique character. See where I'm going with this?

"OMG, JUST LIKE REAL LIF-"
"SHUT THE **** UP"

In the future, robots, androids, cyborgs, what have you, will all have a unique personality for each model. We've already had two chat-bots go up against each other and it was funny as hell as they started arguing and they both had the personalities of their gender.

Skynet is upon us. Soon we wont have to lift a finger. And it's because of that, that robots will inherit the Earth and we wont be able to stop them..

Oh god, I'm getting tingles.

Ciao, Squeers.

MOTHER OF JESUS, GET IT AWAY

Developers: "WE KNOW WHAT YOU WANT, STOP TELLING US" US: "wut"

Douchebags.

I came across an image on 4chan, yes, THAT site, which showed a thread from Team Ninja about the new Devil May Cry reboot. I'd go fetch the image for you but I just recently installed a Chrome extension which bans procrastination sites for long periods of time so I can't. Actually, wait, TO GOOGLE IMAGES!

Ok, I tried and I couldn't find it, no surprise there really. I'll tell you the situation of the new DmC reboot. Basically, nobody likes it. I don't like it. The badassery of Dante, the original character, has been reduced to something not that badassery. More weedy and more faggotry. No seriously, this Dante smokes, even though the developer of the original games said he's "too cool to smoke" which only makes me hate Team Ninja more.

So, most of this hate came from /v/ on 4chan. The video games section of it. It's home to some very smart people, including the odd brainless deadbeat, and they have well structured views. It's only natural that they didn't like it, it's leaving common ground entirely. Most of us wanted DMC5 and to finish the damn cliff-hangers that DMC4 left, again, long story. But no, we get an even younger Dante than the one from DMC3. People have said it's a reboot, some have said it's a prequel going way back. I don't know anymore. But anyway, back to the point in hand.

Team Ninja noticed that all the DmC hate was mostly either originating or coming from /v/. So they sent someone to post a thread on there directly informing /v/ of their intentions. This is basically what they said, in a nutshell:

Team Ninja's feelings about
fans reactions to DmC

"We've decided to do something new here, the old Dante was becoming lame and we needed to do something about it. How about you stop this hate as the new levels are on a different engine and everything's better. Stop hating on this game"

Yep. I know, right? Alright, I'll list what's wrong with this statement. Again, this is the jist of what I remember, not the exact wording of what they said:

• "old Dante was becoming lame" - Who actually decided that? I have NEVER come across ANYONE who has said that Dante was lame or outdated. He's what made the DMC series, what a dick move for getting rid of your key selling point.
• "Different engine and everything's better" - Most of us liked how it was. If we didn't, we wouldn't have bought DMC4. I don't even know why I'm making more points, you replaced Dante, you tools
• "stop hating on this game" - How about no? Saying that is like me collecting my own breast milk, letting people smell it and threatening to punch them in the face if they don't like it.

Case in point, listen to your god damn fans. We know what we want. Don't tell us any different.

Ciao, Squeers. 

I mean, seriously, who actually thought this was a good idea?!

Remember Milo? (SHOULD)

Remember the hype about Kinect? Surely you've read the Kinect post? Of course you haven't, it's a pile of **** but it did bring up something in which made me want to buy the Kinect straight away.

A boy called Milo.

Now this concept is brilliant. It's the birth of Skynet. It's mind boggling to how it works.

Why hasn't it come out yet?

F****** Lionhead.

Worth the pain.
The delicious pain.

Milo looks brilliant. I admit, I did talk to my friends once about how he would react if you took all your clothes off or started fingering a badger but I'm sure if this idea ever comes to fruitionOWJESUS.

Sorry, cooking sausage and eggs and it spat at me like the intentions of a jealous ex-girlfriend but back on point. Yes, I am stupidly close to the cooker, I'm an idiot and I know this, DEAL WITH IT.

Anyway, the idea of fully simulated AI is amazing, you can't deny this. A fully interactive computer program in which you can pretty much do anything with. In the trailer, you passed it a piece of paper and it read what was on it. That's juicy as hell, I don't even know how that works. It was probably a fake trailer played by an actor. But the idea is amazing. BRING IT OUT, LIONHEAD or I'll never buy a Fable game again.

That's a lie, I love Fable. Even 2 and 3. Yeah, hate me. Do it. I BEG YEE.

This brings me to another idea. Which I'll save for another blog post. AI. Tune in tomorrow for it.

Ciao Squeers.

**** YOU, REALITY, NOBODY LIKES YOU, GO AWAY

Exclusive = Dick Move (SHOULD)

I have a distinct hate for console companies buying out other companies. Don't get me wrong, that's how businesses work but I hate the fact I wont be able to Play FF13-Versus on my 360. It looks like an extremely impressive FF and I wont be able to play that **** without a PS3.

DO WANT ..
But can't have ..

In this case, I don't get it. FF's have been coming out for the 360 since 12. What makes this one exclusive? Can't the 360 hardware handle it? The 360's hardware is pretty piss poor, no surprise there, Bill, so it wouldn't surprise me at all.

But exclusives in general aren't a good business prospect at all. Why limit yourself to ONE console? The 360, somehow, has the bigger market share than the PS3. I don't think of the Wii being in the same generation, it's its own generation so I can understand exclusives for the Wii, I'm cool with that. But the 360 and the PS3 should team up together and release the same games for each console if companies ever think they'll make more money.

I am quite excited about the Zone of the Enders HD pack coming to 360. And the Metal Gear Solid HD pack. And the Devil May Cry HD pack.

God, I love HD packs..

Ciao Squirees.

DO WANT ..
AND CAN HAVE!

Microsoft, you greedy giants.. (RANT)

I love my Xbox. No doubt about it. If I had a PS3, I'd love that as well but I'm not made of money, that's a lie, I just don't spend it on things I need, and I just love console gaming. Yes, I also PC game, I know the difference.

But, as this inevitably happens, my sexy, glossy cased Xbox 360 received the "Open Tray" error. My warranty ran out in October and to fix this kind of problem would mean I might as well by another damn console. So I thought to myself, "It's about time you opened this ****" so I went to Youtube, looked at a video on how to do it and got to work. I opened most of it, managed to cut my fingers at one bit when I then realised that I've basically destroyed a little part and then came to the screw. It needs a specific screwdriver so I ordered one and I'll continue when it gets here.

Now what I'm saying here is that Microsoft are still giving out Xbox's that have errors? Don't they beta test and alpha test they're products? The Slims meant to be a revised version of the first 360 model so it should be error free yet it still come with errors. It annoys the hell out of me. Then you have to pay them to fix your damn console. I read somewhere that the warranty doesn't even cover the "Open Tray" error so what exactly can we do about it?

Revise your damn products, Bill. As much as I love the 360, you're not doing your customers any favours.

Yeah, this blog post is pretty poor but ah well. It's a rant. I'll make another blog post about modding consoles when I've fixed my own console, not looking in your direction, Bill.

Ciao, Squeers.

Here's a picture of a lazy leopard for your enjoyment.

INTP T_T (Would)

Note: I was very inept at typing. I've kept this here to show progression of learning your own type and that it will take a few tries to get to the right type. I'm INFJ. Enjoy my younger ramblings!

€I know my blog posts are basically about gaming and the industry in general but sod you all, I'm going to write about my personality type. Then I'll probably write about how it could work in the gaming industry. Yes, I'm kissing my own ass and it tastes like ass but what do you expect from as ass if you kiss it? Don't say chocolate, that's manually applied.

I've come across these letters jumbled up together on the internet and I had no idea what they meant. I recently stumbled across these letters again and thought "YOU SHALL BE ANALYSED, I NEED TO KNOW WHAT YOU ARE" and by god, I did.

If you came into my head, you wouldn't want to leave.
...
Then my head would be full of .. nevermind.

They're personality types. A woman called Isabel Myers-Briggs manages to categorise all personalties into 16 categories. I got INTP which is known as "The Thinker". Basically, I have GREAT ideas that could change the nation but I usually can't be arsed either explaining them or following through with them. Which is true actually, when I have an idea, I don't do it straight away. Well actually, I did this blog on the same day I thought about it but for the rest of my ideas, I usually put it off until the last minute before I follow through which is quite bad. Good thing this blog is here, I guess.

Alright, I'll fully explain how this works. There's:

Extroversion and Introversion: Basically,  extroversion is to act outwards onto objects and people and introversion is to be inward thinking about ideas and concepts.

Sensing and Intuition: These lie down to how we perceive information. Sensory type people trust factual information, what they hear and know. Intuitive people prefer theoretical and abstract information.

Thinking and Feeling: These effect how we make decisions. Thinkers use logic and rationalise each problem before they approach it. Feelers make decisions by emphasizing or associating with the situations.

Probably because my idea's are a bit resourceful..

Judgement and Perception: Judging would be to asses the situation and react accordingly, perceiving would be to jump in head first and act to everything on a whim.

Now it's at this bit where I bring in the gaming section because I'm so god damn precise.

WHY HASN'T ANYONE MADE A CHARACTER PROGRESSION GRID BASED ON THIS?!

Sure, people can basically create a character in most games, give him skills and what not but no one's actually related to their own character from the inside, have they? They're all basically the same character with pre-written lines. To use this concept in gaming wouldn't be hard. 16 outcomes. 16 to choose from. You'd be surprised how ACCURATE the descriptions for these are. I was impressed when I read mine. I then did my mums and my dads and they were scaringly accurate. Mum was a "Doer" and Dad was an "Artist". Seems a "thinker" is a good inbetween. Although I don't agree with it entirely, I am known to disregard thought and enter a situation with no fear. But then again, this was learnt from BEING an INTP so I guess I can't get out of that one.

So yeah. Games companies. Do this. Latch onto this idea. No one owns this method of categorising, it's free to use, far as I'm aware. I'm still waiting for the Creative Director job or the Web-based reviewer job. Just saying, viewers.

Click on this link and answer it to find your own personality category:
http://www.personalitypathways.com/type_inventory.html

Then click on the corresponding combo and read away here:
http://www.personalitypage.com/html/portraits.html


Ciao, Squireens. (Yes, I made that up, saves me having to be gender specific)

This is my personality love match.
Why does this concept excite me way too much?
Shouldn't I be crying or scared?

The Future of Gaming? (SHOULD)

Right, I know I haven't really posted daily like I should have been but it's not like I'm exactly missed so SCREW YOU, VIEWER.

Actually, yelling my 18 viewers that I want to screw them usually gives of the wrong message (or the right one in some cases) so instead, I will apologize by writing out an article which will probably hinder the amount of ideas I'll write about in the future. But sod it, these ideas roll off onto this blog when I actually just THINK about an idea which usually just takes me about 2 minutes mac anyway.

Enough speaking, time to get to the article title! DAH FUTURE!!

Right, we know that I covered a few things like this in the "Retro Gaming" post, well I think I did, if not, look for it and give me some more juicy views to add to my collection (LOVE HEART <3) so instead, I'll write about what isn't being developed yet. Sure, the future is ******* bright, and it's NOT orange, but the area of gaming market will only become more creative as technology progresses and advances. As it is now possible to make meat out of your own poo, print out organs and can now do some freaky metal, magnet levitation kinda ****, what else could be next?

"AAAHHHH AHHHH MOTHER
OF GOD" - First player of the
simulator.

Well screw the general stuff, who cares about flying cars, hoverboards, a room that puts you in the shoes of the character you're playing, right? Haha, yeah .. wait, what.

Yeah, you heard it, they made a room where if you walk forward, your character walks forward, if you get shot, you get hurt etc etc

I remember seeing it, I just don't remember where. Was funny hearing him shout out in pain. The game was Battlefield 3, I remember that at least.

But this is an exciting to think about prospect when it comes to the gaming industry. I mean, games where you ARE the in the shoes of the character, where you run forward, he runs, you get shot, you feel his pain, it's mind blowing. Technology is going at an astounding pace right now, we're truly breaking into the digital age. In 20 years, where I'll be the ripe prime age of 40, I bet I'd be able to plug myself in like the Matrix and engage into a world where I can shoot down my ******* neighbour and shout profanities at him like "YOUR WIFE ISN'T HOT ENOUGH" or "I'VE BEEN S******* ON YOUR LAWN FOR THE PAST 5 YEARS" and it'd just be brilliant.

To think up some ideas for the future would be hard seeing as we don't know what is exactly capable of handling such concepts but I'll give out a few that COULD happen yet are also wacky and extreme.

I think I'd prefer a chip or something,
that s*** looks painful to insert.

Eye Implants - Look at the DSi and 3DS, they have a camera where certain games can incorporate that camera. For instance, the new Kingdom Hearts 3DS, it has an option where you can capture a monster and then view it through the camera, scratching it's belly like you've got something to prove about how F****** WONDERFUL YOU ARE but it's amazing. I saw a trailer where it flew about the room and you had to keep up with it. Say, if it went to the left and went off the screen, you'd have to turn the DS to keep looking and interacting with it.

Still, it's pretty juicy, this is only the starting point of full user integration. Kinect, Move and the Wii are all the starting points of what could make gaming become a central part of our lives. The Fable 3 promotion game where you walked into a shop and you claimed it for your faction was amazing. Put whatever Fable did with motion controls and BOOM. Oh and the eye implants would pretty much make everyone scared of each other.

God, dem eye plants. <3

Ciao, Squires and Squirettes.

HOLY MOTHER OF S*** THAT'S AWESOME

Retro Games (WOULD)

You know what I love about nostalgia?

It's not hard to achieve.

Christ, I'm not that old!

I'm an Xbox 360/PC Master race gamer and I think there's two things about being both.

The XBLA (Xbox Live Arcade) keep being updated with classics from the era I grew up in. I was born just after the Atari's into the 8-bit era so I loved the **** out of my NES, SNES and Megadrive. I still have a Megadrive. I've personally bought all the Sonic games because he was my man. He was the one I always wanted to be like, I remember one P.E. lesson at school, I ran down my road with my arms way back because I thought it would "make me go faster" and by god it did. I was knackered though.

But being a PC gamer, I have access to EVERYTHING retro. Emulators are now easy to download and roms, sad to say, are easily distributed across the internet. I only download the ones I've either bought and played or seen others play. Because why not? Retro gaming played a big part of my childhood and I'm not afraid to embrace it. Now to find a way to link my 360 controllers to my laptop and PC and I'll be set. oo, I found one. Thank you, Google!

That's more like it!

What gets my grill is that games are no longer as colourful and as simple as games today. There was something so therapeutic about running across a level to get to the end, something that gave us all a feeling of success. I'm not opposed to games today but what if the first game you ever played was COD? Doesn't sound pretty.

I've always stood by the fact that video games do not make people bad influences but something about growing up with current generation games makes me think if it actually does make a difference to some extent. It depends on what you play, I guess, but I think the fun of the old games has disappeared. Games like Spyro, Crack, Croc and Gex have now become buried in their shiny graves to make way for the big boy games like Halo, COD and Gears of War.

Sure, Ninendo are still wacking out Mario games and Sega still release the usually milked, terrible Sonic game but they still don't have the magic they used to have. Ok, I'm leaning more towards Mario games then Sonic but hey, still not the same in my opinion.

Zelda, you delicious morsel.

Leave a comment on the game you remember playing when you were growing up!

Ciao, Squires and Squirettes. <3

Who actually thought
this would be a good idea?!

Rocksmith? (WOULD)

Well it has now begun, hasn't it? Well I think it has. Well, possibly maybe but I'm going to stop jinxing the hell out of this new concept I've thought up and simply tell you about it.

I know what I'm teaching my kid
right off the bat.

Everybodies heard about Rocksmith. And if you haven't, it's a new game, heavily influenced by Guitar Hero and Rock Band, where you can plug a device into the jack of any of your guitars and then use it to play songs on your console. 

Now I think this is amazing. Granted, you're not going to learn HOW to play the guitar, you're just going to learn a few songs but hey, it's better than nothing. Guitarists who know music theory can practise their rhythm, finger speed and just get better at playing whilst also learning some awesome songs in the process. Non-guitarists will get a feel for the guitar and then can jump on to learning some chords and some scales so they can make up their own music. It's a good idea.

But then you think "Ok, Joe, where are you going with this?" Well, I'll tell you, voice in my head who sounds frightfully flamboyant. They've now made real life guitars into something we have a reason to play. So why not incorporate other things?

Yeah, you're getting me now, aren't you? Other things. Throwing a few out there:

Photography: PLEASE, I WOULD BUY THE **** OUT OF THIS

Cooking: Not really a console game but a standalone that plugs into the USB slots that are going to come in the future.

Fitness: I'm not talking about that silly connect game or the Wii Fit, I'm on about something that you can take with you, that can train you, give you motivation and then rank you against the world, this is using you mind to attack most men and women's addictiveness to games and then applying that in getting healthy.

Ten points for Geese.
Bitches love Geese/

Oh god, I'd draw Pac-man
naked as well if I could.
Oh wait, I can.
TO THE NOTEBOOK!

There's a few ideas but the fact that gaming is now becoming a part of our productive lives, I'm thinking that games that reach the next generation will ultimately be beneficial to a kids upbringing.  Games that teach you how to cook and reward you for it, games that reward you for fitness, build hobbies etc etc it's a concept n the gaming market that has been reached but knowing my insane relationship with most game companies and how I know they will react is that they'll not reach  onto this concept of gaming because, simply I'm not the ******* Creative Director of anyone there, some guy who sits at his desk, drinking coffee and drawing naked pacman sketches seems to be able to get paid that much whilst the real, actual ideas harboured by our generation go by our daily lives not making a dent in the damn market.

All in all, my little squires and squirettes, the end of this concept is to make everything in your life a game using points and rank as a means to fuel all of us into actually doing something productive with our lives. Sure, I play guitar, I write novels, I know how to write about anything, I can cook, play Ocarina, know how to fix, build and use computers, know's a **** ton about fitness, knows martial arts but for other people, things like these can really help. a LOT. Companies, sack your creative directors and let me have a go. LET'S MAKE SOME MONEY!

Ciao, guys o/

HAHAHAHHAHAHHAHAHHAHHA
Ohh...

Kinect? (SHOULD)

Anybody remember the hype of the Kinect about to bash down the doors to our tiny little minds? Made out to be what is the next step in technology and will advance the way we play games? What concept looked and sounded impressive, the idea made your technological mouth water?

It looks delicious. Shame it doesn't delicious.

Personally, when I heard it, I had two thoughts in mind:

1. Wow, this actually sounds worth having! It's quite impressive, the motion capture thing!
2. It can't be all that. They're saying all this but I'm sure it wont be that good.

The use of logic astounds me, squires and squirettes.

As I was right about my second thought, I managed to grab myself a Kinect just to see what all the fuss was about. And right then and there..

It was fun as hell.


Popping in Kinect Adventures and jumping around like a ******* idiot was new to me, it was fresh and it was also something I could play with my girlfriend and family, no use of skill was needed, just the ability to jump and react to certain sequences.

HOWEVER


The more I played with my Kinect, the more the fad ran out. It became something I could just wave and talk to when I couldn't be arsed looking for a controller to finger. Funny thing is it did come out and do what it was promised to do. It actually did. Everything that was said about it didn't deliver any broken promises.

So why didn't it live up to its hype?

Oh, look, the main thing from the hype trailer that made me want to buy the Kinect.
...
WELL WHERE IS IT?! 

Well I'm not going to do research on what ALL of the hype was so I'll just tell you what I remember hearing about it, what it actually did and why it sucked in doing that.

1. Voice capture. Voice capture. It made it out to be that you could have full on conversations with the thing. That just by saying "Play disc" or "Turn on" was the basic features of the voice capture. Little did anyone know, you had to shout at it "Xbox" first then choose from a list of options. Plus it didn't turn on, I've tried, I shouted at it for an hour thinking it was broken. It just wasn't up to scratch with the hype that potrayed it.

2. Motion sensor. Motion sensor. Yeah alright, the selling point was the motion sensor which DID actually motion sense the **** out of you.

But they failed to mention how much god damn room you needed to play the ******* thing.

If you live in the UK like I do, room space isn't generous as we live on an island and we have basically 1/5 of the US population. That's a lot of people and when you compare the space? You have to make room for others.

The living room in which I played the Kinect in has two chairs, a sofa and a dining table in the middle. Even when I moved all 3 out of the way, the table was just to my left so I couldn't go left but I tried anyway. My leg hurt.

This is what they failed to add. Space. They didn't say very much about it and if they did, it'd have been compared to that extremely small writing that you get food products telling you what actually IS up with the product, it's just not right that the most important pieces of information are kept from us.  DAMN YOU, WORLD.

3. Play with two players. Play with two players. Just read above and imagine two people. I really need to move to America, that place has houses the size of my county.

That's all I can really think of right now, I'll probably come back and update this post again and again when I come up with new reasons to bitch about the Kinect. It's still a good product though, maybe I just haven't played many Kinect games so I might go ahead and buy that new Star Wars game where you fling a lightsaber around like a ******* idiot.


Ciao for now, Squires and Squirettes.

Was basically my Christmas and everybody elses.

Image source for that picture above: http://www.thenobleeskimo.com/images/kinectusers.jpg

Game Concepts (SHOULD)

Who the **** doesn't like Bejewled?!

How come when I pick up a game these days, I always get the feeling of dread? There seems to be two things that compensate each other. Gameplay and Story. It's quite rare that we have both of these, at the same level of skill and quality, in one single game. Yes, I get it, companies need to get their games out there to break the bank but honestly, if they actually just thought about it instead of using die hard heavy business tactics, they'd actually, and quite easily, make a game worthy of buying and playing, possibly even topping the most popular games of all time.

I'll go into detail about numerous parts on how this could work. 

In general

The game industry is the biggest market out there right now, it makes a LOT more than the film and TV industry. So, it'd only be common sense to make sure you beat out game after game after game after game etc etc

Wrong.

What makes a company popular is having that one game which impresses everyone. Halo is to Bungie as Mass Effect is to Bioware. I actually had to research what other games Bungie made, same with Bioware. So the right move is to make a game stand out from the pack. Granted, Halo is a generic FPS but what makes it special is that it launched  the FPS genre straight into popularity. It remains the mainstream king and it'll stay there. Personally, I think that if Halo didn't become popular and the Call of Duty series took the crown instead, Halo wouldn't have been as popular as it was as the standard of shooting games would have been fast paced instead of having to deal with shields and tactics for different enemies.

Why am I such a whore for
DBZ games?

Other ways is to latch onto a franchise that already has a reputation. For example. numerous companies have been jumping on the anime band wagon to create games for Dragonball Z, Naruto and Bleach. The already huge amount of popularity with these franchises takes on the concept of being a part of that anime's universe. Well to some extent. Most anime games only cover the main aspect of each show and it's usually fighting. I guess the main business idea that applies to this corner of the market is to not put it all into one little package so they can make other games based around the anime but covering different aspects. Either that or they're damn right lazy. If they took their time for a huge project but done right, yes, I'm looking at you Alan wake and Duke Nukem Forever, they could create a game that could make a gamer feel right at home within the the world it represents.

Gameplay

You'd have thought they'd have learnt
for the sequel but nooooope.

Obviously, gameplay has to be the top priority, I'm lookin' at you, Final Fantasy 13 and yes, I look at things. Gameplay can do either of to things these days and that is fall into one of the generic genres OR create an entirely new concept. Now whilst the Fable series is a bunch of failed promises due to a team that isn't capable of extending its production time and making wonderful, majestic Peter look like a right twat. His ideas are interesting, what he put forward created an adventure/action/RTS/sim hybrid which I think is quite fun to play. If Peter didn't overestimate his shitty and stubborn production team and stuck to what he knew would be made, the game would be amazing as it'd pull through what it announced. Even with the setbacks, the Fabler series is still a standalone genre, you wont get the same feel that the Fable universe gives you. Back to gameplay, it doesn't centre on one thing. It centres on numerous things. The main aspect of Fable is probably the fighting. In reference to Fable 3, the more you fight, the more your weapon injects steroids into itself to get rid of the sexual tension of touching too many skeletons. Or in simpler terms, it levels up. The gameplay is sparse, not focusing on anything but that's the trick to it, it's unique. 

A bad example of gameplay would have to be the new Dragonball Z game called "Ultimate Tenkaichi". It has the most repetitive fighting style I've ever come across. If I wasn't such a sucker for DBZ games, I'd have stayed away from it. Every character is basically the same due to this fighting style, you just choose your favourite character and hack away. From the previous game, a level of skill and spam was needed to fight. In this game, the only skill you need is to initiate a combo to start a tame sequence of "Rock, Paper, Scissors". You did it wrong, Bandai, you really ****** up with this game. I honestly don't know how the creative directors in games companies get their jobs. I've thought up better ideas whilst typing this blog post. But the whoever made the big choice to turn DBZ into a flashy game of chance needs to be sacked. Give the damn job to me and I'll SHOW near perfect ideas for a DBZ game which would draw in people who've never heard of DBZ. They did bring back the story mode though which they shouldn't even have gotten rid of in Raging Blast 2 but the gameplay makes it boring as ****. 

SAVE OUR GENERATION
OH MIGHTY ONE!


A good example of gameplay would be Megaman. Yes. I said it. Megaman. No, I'm not legally retarded, I'm being serious. Every single game company should take tips from the Megaman series for it's gameplay and I'll explain why.  There are ZERO tutorials in the early series and the X series, far as I'm aware. How the hell did we learn what to do then? Easy, the game level design showed us. They use gameplay to trigger your little mind into reacting correctly to a situation, they SHOW you what happens before you get to the main challenge yourself. It's called "Initiative Gameplay" and that's why it's awesome. It's a straight out shooter based platformer and the only reason it's better then everything else is because of making players use initiative.

In conclusion, the point I'm trying to make here is this. They seem to cancel each other out these days. Usually, the stories good and the gameplay's bad and vice versa. The creative juice and time put into games these days focus on little tid bits rather than creating a game you can truly be immersed in. In Mass Effect 2, I always thought there wasn't enough. You've got an amazing concept of alien races, planets, big ass enemies and quite the plot but I always felt secluded onto quite a shallow path I couldn't venture far from. Sure, different things happen when you do things differently but they're not that great, they're just minor differences.

If a game concept focuses on one over the other than that's ok but they should at least state that with a slogan of some kind like "Made purely to blow things up" or "An immersive story that leaves you wanting more"  or something similar. Game concepts have the potential to become HUGE in terms of there being hardly any technological limitations these days. I'll buy the game that makes an immersive universe filled to the brim with content, freedom and player choices all with DLC that just keeps adding and adding to the game. 

That is all. Peace out, squires and squirettes. o/

I already regret trading you in, you time wasting, attractive little ****