Kinect? (SHOULD)

Anybody remember the hype of the Kinect about to bash down the doors to our tiny little minds? Made out to be what is the next step in technology and will advance the way we play games? What concept looked and sounded impressive, the idea made your technological mouth water?

It looks delicious. Shame it doesn't delicious.

Personally, when I heard it, I had two thoughts in mind:

1. Wow, this actually sounds worth having! It's quite impressive, the motion capture thing!
2. It can't be all that. They're saying all this but I'm sure it wont be that good.

The use of logic astounds me, squires and squirettes.

As I was right about my second thought, I managed to grab myself a Kinect just to see what all the fuss was about. And right then and there..

It was fun as hell.


Popping in Kinect Adventures and jumping around like a ******* idiot was new to me, it was fresh and it was also something I could play with my girlfriend and family, no use of skill was needed, just the ability to jump and react to certain sequences.

HOWEVER


The more I played with my Kinect, the more the fad ran out. It became something I could just wave and talk to when I couldn't be arsed looking for a controller to finger. Funny thing is it did come out and do what it was promised to do. It actually did. Everything that was said about it didn't deliver any broken promises.

So why didn't it live up to its hype?

Oh, look, the main thing from the hype trailer that made me want to buy the Kinect.
...
WELL WHERE IS IT?! 

Well I'm not going to do research on what ALL of the hype was so I'll just tell you what I remember hearing about it, what it actually did and why it sucked in doing that.

1. Voice capture. Voice capture. It made it out to be that you could have full on conversations with the thing. That just by saying "Play disc" or "Turn on" was the basic features of the voice capture. Little did anyone know, you had to shout at it "Xbox" first then choose from a list of options. Plus it didn't turn on, I've tried, I shouted at it for an hour thinking it was broken. It just wasn't up to scratch with the hype that potrayed it.

2. Motion sensor. Motion sensor. Yeah alright, the selling point was the motion sensor which DID actually motion sense the **** out of you.

But they failed to mention how much god damn room you needed to play the ******* thing.

If you live in the UK like I do, room space isn't generous as we live on an island and we have basically 1/5 of the US population. That's a lot of people and when you compare the space? You have to make room for others.

The living room in which I played the Kinect in has two chairs, a sofa and a dining table in the middle. Even when I moved all 3 out of the way, the table was just to my left so I couldn't go left but I tried anyway. My leg hurt.

This is what they failed to add. Space. They didn't say very much about it and if they did, it'd have been compared to that extremely small writing that you get food products telling you what actually IS up with the product, it's just not right that the most important pieces of information are kept from us.  DAMN YOU, WORLD.

3. Play with two players. Play with two players. Just read above and imagine two people. I really need to move to America, that place has houses the size of my county.

That's all I can really think of right now, I'll probably come back and update this post again and again when I come up with new reasons to bitch about the Kinect. It's still a good product though, maybe I just haven't played many Kinect games so I might go ahead and buy that new Star Wars game where you fling a lightsaber around like a ******* idiot.


Ciao for now, Squires and Squirettes.

Was basically my Christmas and everybody elses.

Image source for that picture above: http://www.thenobleeskimo.com/images/kinectusers.jpg